Fell in a heap last week.

It's so frustrating - have had so much planned which I want to do lately but nothing has got done. With all the trees flowering (wattles, tea-trees, pines etc) I ended up with hayfever / sinus problems a fortnight ago and with taking polaramine on top of my usual meds I was falling asleep on my feet - lol - really.............was standing hosing the vege garden one morning and could feel myself dosing off .... sat at the computer - dozed off .... sat at the table to read - dozed off .... went with mum when she had her massage - dozed off - that's apart from sleeping in every morning.

.......... so I did no pilates - apart from my Thursday night class and didn't walk any mornings - couldn't even be bothered to use the treadmill at home. Then of course the chronic fatigue decided it too wanted to get in on the act so I totally gave up with trying to do anything.

The only good thing was that from not doing much the muscle spasms & nerve pain in my back / neck etc eased a bit ...........however last week we had the most glorious winter days so I did a little bit in the garden, caught up on the computer and actually walked every morning but of course the Fibro flared up again. I know that getting stressed only makes matters worse & causes panic attacks but my brain doesn't function enough to talk to myself nicely when it gets like that and all reasoning is buried somewhere with common sense.

It is so FRUSTRATING ....... then physio on Wednesday & Pilates Thursday night was the icing on the cake. I was in tears by Wednesday night and not much better on Thursday. Couldn't cope with being on my own so spent Thursday with a good friend. Usually I won't allow things to get to me to that degree but I seemed to have no control over things this time.

Needless to say I was a bit emotional to say the least when I saw the psychologist on Friday.

It's like being on a round-about ... exercise makes me stiff and sore but without it I stiffen up more. I feel good about myself when I can do things but sitting at the computer, doing craft, doing a bit in the garden causes flare-ups which puts me back to square one all the time.

Anyway today I managed to get the washing done, water the plants and catch up on some emails and have increased my meds till the pain subsides a bit so am feeling a little bit better.

Well I've had my whinge - it's nearly midnight - have just finished my milo so might have a shower and head off to bed.